hey, tell that therapy horse to send over his resume!

bestlocalteenyet.exe

stupid triptank didn't accept any of my stupid pitches stupid jerks!

BEST SOUND BOARD IN THE UNIVERSE, COLIN

so i just happen to have the president or paraguay's phone number. and i call the guy up and i open up this sound board. and i start clicking buttons, and the president is totally buying it and all i can hear him saying is "denzel? denzel?! is that really you?" and i'm all thinking "man, this guy is such a loser." and i keep fooling him and he's eating up and then i somehow (through an amazing combination of quotes) convince him to step down as president and move to california to come live with me (who he THINKS is denzel washington) so we can be best friends. pretty freaking crazy, right!?